if i get to doing too many chores in a row i end up feeling like my head might explode if i don't sit down and write, or design, or browse etsy, or scroll through instagram, or do something uplifting or fun. you could call me lazy, you could call me a dreamer, but what i'm not is "on top of things."
and when i say "things", i mean the house, mostly. it's what my husband cares about most, and really it's his love language. if the house is messy when he walks in the door, i haven't loved him well that day. which is terrible because i'm worst at that specifically, but i really do love him. and then when he brings it up in discussion, i feel like i'm a terrible wife and homemaker and i'm not enough for him. but he's never said that, i just interpret that through my own sinful lens. do you see how it gets messy? yeah, it's not pretty.
so the last time we had one of these discussions i very honestly and thoroughly explained how it makes me feel when he's disappointed, and he very thoroughly explained what he feels like when the house is a disaster. we both recognized some of our own issues and promised to work on them. most of our discussions, though they can get heated and emotional, are also quite productive and fruitful. i'm thankful for that.
i walked away this particular day feeling very convicted to start prioritizing my time. so i implemented a little thing for myself, and i call it "clean slate":
before i can think about hopping on the computer, designing anything, doing anything that's fun, really? i run around the house like a mad woman, getting laundry going, getting the dishwasher started, picking up, organizing... just getting back to a clean slate. this usually happens at naptime because of course if i picked up the house with my kids still playing, it would make no sense. it would be destroyed within minutes.
but the clean slate helps me feel like i've done my job, at least for that hour, and i can get to the stuff i really want to do.
once naptime is over? mama's playtime is over too... but i always feel so much better that i took care of the stuff that needed to get done, and then got some time for myself too. the biggest thing i've learned is
when you prioritize, all the important stuff gets done. fancy that. now, of course you'd have to ask my husband how he feels about this because he still walks in to a messy house most of the time, but at least i know that i've accomplished a lot that day [and come on, i've picked up the same mess of toys at least seven times already, am i right?] and i can feel good about that.